Where are these weekend workshops held?
We lead Imago Couples Workshops in three locations. The
majority of our workshops, about 10 per year, are
presented in our home in Hamilton Ontario. About 3 times
a year, the workshop runs in the beautiful surroundings
of our spacious cottage on Shepard Lake, which is about
20 minutes outside of Owen Sound, Ontario. Finally,
twice a year, we run the workshop in Kelowna B.C.,
usually in a hotel setting.
How many couples attend the
workshop?
We enroll a maximum of 6 couples at our workshops in
Hamilton and Owen Sound. At the Kelowna workshop we will
accommodate as many couples as apply.
I Want to
Register...What are the Steps?
-send Susan your demographics by fax (905 525
3164) or email, and call your credit card information to
905 528-0257
-only your deposit holds your spot in the
workshop...it's first come, first serve (we are
increasingly filling our workshops)
-after your deposit is in:
-
We will mail you a
confirmation letter with location / accommodation
information and a receipt.
-
We will contact you
for a pre-interview to determine OHIP eligibility
(see the FAQ two down from here)
- the pre-interview is
the final step before the weekend
What is the cost of the
Weekend?
The standard cost of the weekend is $800 per couple -
this applies to non OHIP-eligible couples in Ontario and
all couples in Kelowna. However, in Ontario, if you are
OHIP-eligible, the cost is $250 a couple in Hamilton and
$275 in Owen Sound (where we provide lunch both days).
What is OHIP-Eligibility?
How Is It Determined?
Because Mark is a physician, OHIP may cover a large part
of the cost of the weekend ... if you are eligible. To
be eligible for OHIP coverage, a couple must have valid
Ontario health cards and must merit a diagnosis of
"Marital (or relationship) Conflict". This is determined
in a pre-interview with couples in conflict. Couples who
are hoping to improve their relationship but are not in
significant conflict are not eligible for OHIP coverage.
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Tell Me More About The
Pre-interview
This is a session of about 60-90 minutes to explore the
relationship issues a couple is dealing with. We will
arrange this interview with you after you have
registered for the weekend. It is a time for you to meet
us and for us to get to know you and your issues better.
It allows us to determine whether you are OHIP-eligible.
What If We Are Not OHIP-Eligible?
If it is determined that the couple is not OHIP
eligible, you will have two choices: you can pay the
standard price of $800 and attend the workshop or you
can have a full refund of your deposit.
What if We Can't Afford the
Cost of the Weekend?
There are some limited scholarship arrangements that are
sometimes possible. Please be in touch with us for
details.
What Is the Payment
Policy?
To hold a place at a workshop in Ontario you will need
to complete a registration form and send us a deposit of
$125. The remaining cost ($125 in Hamilton, $150 in Owen
Sound) is due on arrival at the workshop.
To hold a place at the Kelowna workshop, you will need
to complete a registration form and send us a deposit of
$125. The remaining cost ($675) is due on arrival at the
workshop.
Payment Methods ... We accept Visa and Mastercard.
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What is the Cancellation
Policy?
If you cancel at least 10 days prior to the workshop you
have registered for, we will refund your deposit, less a
$50 administrative fee. If you cancel 9 days or fewer
preceding your workshop, you will forfeit your deposit
or we would be pleased to transfer your deposit to
another workshop date within one year of the original
registration date. If you do not attend the workshop, or
if you leave early, your registration is non-refundable.
If the presenters were to cancel a workshop all monies
will be refunded.
What is the Schedule of the
weekend?
The weekend runs Saturday from 8:30 am to 7:30 pm and
Sunday from 8:30am to 5:30 pm. On both days there will
be a significant lunch break and several short breaks
during the day.
What about Food?
We provide a light breakfast, all beverages and snacks
throughout the day. There is a larger snack late on
Saturday to get through this longer day. We will try to
accommodate any food allergies if you inform us.
You are on your own for lunch (except provided in Owen
Sound) and supper.
What is the Format of the
weekend?
Over the two days you will spend time in various ways:
- short lectures will help you understand the journey
that has brought you to this point in your life ... how
your past helps determine the life-partner that you
choose and the kinds of problems you eventually (and
inevitably) encounter in that relationship.
- a couple of ‘guided imageries’ where, with some
guidance, you will ‘go inside’ and gather information
from your earlier years
- work in your Imago Manual, a workbook that helps you
make use of the information you have gathered and
synthesize old material into new learning
- learning, in the group setting, the Imago Dialogue, an
amazingly powerful tool to help you safely communicate
with your partner in a manner that will guarantee that
you both will feel heard, respected and understood.
- practicing these new skills with your partner in
private, break-out areas with Susan and Mark available
to coach you through any difficulty.
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How much will we be expected
to reveal about ourselves? Will I have to speak in front
of the group?
The workshop is not an ‘encounter group’ ... no one is
expected to air their ‘dirty laundry’ in front of the
group. The only talking you will be expected to do in
front of the group will be simple introductory material
such as how you met your partner as well as how you are
experiencing the weekend as it progresses. That being
said, each individual chooses how much they will share
... some couples share a lot about themselves, some
share almost nothing .. either way is very acceptable.
How do you teach the
skills?
We find that most effective way to teach couples a new
skill is for the facilitator to teach the skill, in
front of the group, to a volunteer couple, while the
other couples observe. The couple that volunteers is
treated very gently, works with non-threatening
material, and is highly appreciated by the group.
Incidentally, as well, they seem to learn the skill
particularly well.
What sorts of couples should
attend?
The learning and skills of an Imago Weekend are
surprisingly relevant no matter what stage of a
relationship you are at. We have had couples from all
stages, from lovebirds to those living apart and heading
for divorce, and all find it useful, moving, relevant,
and healing.
Attend the Imago Workshop:
- if you are in a brand new relationship that is going
well and you want to keep it that way
- if you are in a second relationship and you want to
avoid the mistakes of your first relationship
- if you are in a longer term relationship that is going
ok but you’d like it to be fantastic
- if your relationship is in some trouble, with conflict
that is appearing as bickering or as avoiding each
other, or both
- if your relationship is on the rocks and you want to
give it one last chance, to see if things can be mended.
Even if you do not save your marriage, you will gather
import information about how you contributed to the
marital breakdown and valuable skills to take into any
future relationships.
Is the workshop Gay
friendly?
We are fully welcoming of both gay and
straight couples. Though there are clearly some
differences between these couples, the essential issues
they struggle with - the need for safety, understanding
and effective communication - is no different.
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Can I attend without a
partner?
The ‘Getting The Love You Want’ workshop is designed for
people in long term committed relationships. There are
Imago Workshops titled “Keeping the Love You Find” that
are designed for individuals. These are excellent
workshops that we recommend for individuals whether they
are single or in relationship. At this point, we do not
run workshops for individuals, but you could seek one
out at the Imago website:
www.gettingtheloveyouwant.com .
What if my partner
is not enthused about coming?
We have learned to expect that, in most couples, one
person is much more likely to be enthused about coming,
and the other may be reluctant, sometimes very
reluctant. To our surprise, this seems not to matter
very much ... the reluctant partner seems to leave the
weekend very pleased that he/she was dragged to the
event. The crucial point is not about enthusiasm, it is
about willingness to come despite reluctance.
Do we have to be married?
No. The only criterion is that it be 2 individuals who
are in a long term committed relationship.
Does it help to read
Harville’s book (Getting the Love You Want) before
attending?
The majority of people seeking marital counselling at our workshops have not
read the book “Getting the Love You Want” by Imago
founder Harville Hendrix. This does not seem to
interfere with their experience in any way. Those who
have read the book do, however, have some advantage in
that the material may be more familiar and therefore may
be easier to take in.
Is this a workshop
based in Religion?
No, this workshop is based on a psychological
understanding of how human beings develop and how they
bring themselves into relationship. There is nothing
about the workshop that is incompatible with most
mainstream religious beliefs.
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Why is it called “IMAGO”
therapy?
This is explained in detail in the workshop.
Briefly, ‘Imago’ is the Latin word for ‘image’. Imago
theory tells us that, from a rather young age, we are
forming an ‘image’ in our unconscious mind of the sort
of partner that we are looking for to have a long term
committed relationship with. When we meet someone who is
similar to that image, chemicals begin to flow in our
brains that initiate the process of romantic love ... we
“fall in love”.
Does it Work?
After our years of involvement with the Imago process,
we have come to the conclusion that the crucial question
is not “does it work?” .... because when a couple uses
these skills regularly and properly it does work. The
crucial question tends to be ... “Will the couple commit
to practicing the skills on a daily basis and make it
part of their lives in the future?” Essentially, we have
learned that “if you use it regularly and properly” it
works.
Are these skills
relevant outside my relationship?
The answer is a resounding “Yes!”. The communication
skills can be used in friendship, in business, almost
anywhere. One of the most special and rewarding places
to use these new skills, however, is in parenting.
Anyone with children can significantly improve their
parenting using Imago skills.
What if a couple needs more
help after the workshop?
Some couples seem to have the knack of using the Imago
process without a lot of help ... they leave the
workshop and make Imago part of their relationship life.
Others need more help. The options for help include
- finding an Imago therapist in or near your area
- use some of the online enrichment/help that is offered
by Imago Relationships International
- attend a follow-up workshop.
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What Are Follow-Up workshops?
Because of our desire to “be there” for couples who have
graduated from one of our workshops, we have recently
initiated periodic Follow-Up workshops. These currently
take place on the Friday evenings preceding our Hamilton
GTLYW workshops ... they run from 6:30 pm to 9:30 pm and
cost $25 per couple along with OHIP eligibility. Each
workshop has a different topic and graduate couples are
informed by Email of the schedule.
Are the Facilitators in a
committed relationship?
Yes, we have been a committed couple since 1995. This is a second relationship for both of us.
We discovered Imago together, early in this
relationship.
How long have you been doing
these workshops? Why do you do them?
We have been doing Imago Workshops since 2007 at a rate
of about twelve workshops a year.
We first became acquainted with the Getting The Love You
Want Workshop as a consumer couple and we were very
impressed from the start. We find the Imago
understanding of who we are in relationship makes so
much sense and is of such practical help with day to day
difficulties. It is pretty clear to both of us that,
without Imago, our relationship, if it survived at all,
would be much poorer and much more conflict ridden.
We find it an ongoing joy to deliver this learning to
couples and a privilege to be witness to couples who are
honestly and bravely struggling to get the love they
want.
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